Is It OK for Jews to Proselytize?

Is it OK for Jews to proselytize?

A terrific new article in the Jewish Journal of Greater Los Angeles tackles the question by looking at the Reform movement's "Taste of Judaism" program. "Taste" is a three-part class that teaches the basics of Judaism to anyone who is interested--Jewish, non-Jewish, interfaith partner, whatever. Since its launch in 1994, more than 75,000 people have taken the class at 450 synagogues around the country. "Taste" is typically marketed through ads in secular newspapers.

While Orthodox Judaism still discourages converts, the Reform movement has been in favor of seeking converts for decades. In 1949, Leo Baeck established a "missionary center" to train Reform leaders to teach Judaism. In 1978, Rabbi Alex Schindler called on Reform Jews to offer Judaism to those unaffiliated with a particular Christian church.

The article also points out that Judaism has not always been against proselytizing. There are even mentions of forcible conversion in the Book of Joshua. In any case, in the early centuries of the first millenium C.E., Jews were active proselytizers--up to 10 percent of the Roman Empire converted to Judaism. Only when Jews went into the Diaspora and Christianity rose did the zeal for proselytizing die.

In modern America, an increasing number of Jews understand that Judaism needs to market itself. With geographic mobility, assimilation, intermarriage and the weakening of communal and family ties, Jews can no longer expect people to stay with Judaism simply because their parents were Jewish. Judaism must compete in the free market of ideas, like every other religion and philosophy. In today's world, every Jew is a Jew-by-choice. Understood in that lens, "Taste of Judaism" is just a form of marketing.

Steve Arnold, a reporter with the Hamilton (Ont.) Spectator, converted to Judaism although his attraction went far beyond seeing an ad for "Taste for Judaism." In a fascinating first-person piece, Arnold details his 40-year journey to Judaism, beginning with his high school reporting assignment where the baptized Christian attended services at a synagogue. He writes eloquently about all the joys and hardships of being a convert, from the inchoate longing for Judaism he felt for years to the bonding with fellow Jews-to-be to the sense of loss over some cherished Christian rituals. Here's his poignant explanation of how he finally got to the place where he had to make a decision about what faith to adopt:

Like so many baby boomers, I've come late to the search for religious answers, spending the first 53 years of my life searching for "meaning" in possessions and position. During those years, getting ready for "the world to come" was always less important than reaching the next rung on a career ladder that was supposed to lead to success and security.

With time, those priorities have changed. I'm in the last quarter of my career now and there are no more rungs on the ladder. With my parents in frail health, and no children to ensure my own future, I know the family that has been such a support for so long will soon drift apart.

Israeli Conversion Impasse Broken--Sort of

The (New York) Jewish Week broke the news last week that the Chief Rabbinate of Israel has agreed to recognize all conversions by the Rabbinical Council of America, the largest Orthodox rabbinical association in North America. In exchange, the RCA will set up regional conversion courts that will follow the strict standards requested by the Israeli Chief Rabbinate.

I've written about the sorry state of affairs for would-be converts in Israel before, and this is welcome news. Would-be converts from the U.S. who are looking to undergo an Orthodox conversion can now be confident that their conversion will be recognized in Israel. At the same time, there are numerous groups that this decision doesn't help, including: those who converted before the official network of regional courts were established; those who went through the state-funded conversion academy in Israel; those who converted under Conservative or Reform auspices; and those who converted under Orthodox auspices outside of North America.

While potential converts still face numerous obstacles in Israel, the Orthodox in America, to their credit, are beginning to open up toward non-Jewish spouses looking to convert. Traditionally, Orthodox rabbis did not accept intermarriage as a legitimate reason to convert, but Eternal Jewish Family, a non-profit based out of New York, is looking to change that.

The group is holding a seminar in Phoenix May 13-15 on "Universally Accepted Conversion in Interfaith Marriage."

Transformation

The (Baltimore) Jewish Times recently printed a moving column from Haydee M. Rodriguez, who writes about his impending conversion to Judaism.

It reflects the tension that many converts feel between believing and feeling Jewish and not being Jewish. Unlike most American Jews, his connection to Judaism is religious, not cultural. He believes "in the tenets which have guided Judaism for more than 3,000 years," that "God spoke to Moses in an attempt to guide his people to righteousness and ethical living" and that he has a "responsibility to bring healing to the world." But, at the same time, his parents were not Jewish, and he has no connection to Jewish culture.

Even in interfaith marriages that don't end in conversion, the non-Jewish partner can feel a similar disconnect with Jewish culture. No amount of immersion into Jewish life will allow a convert to "claim a tradition of Yiddishkeit," as Rodriguez says. However, as Rodriguez also says:

While I cannot claim Jewish history as my own, I hope to learn it. And while I cannot claim Jewish culture and tradition, I hope to learn it, to cherish it, to preserve it.

While non-Jewish partners in interfaith marriages cannot claim Jewish history for themselves, they can claim it for their children.

Judaism Your Way, and "Seventh Heaven"

The Intermountain Jewish News has a great article on Rabbi Brian Field, who leads Judaism Your Way, an innovative "synagogue without walls" based in Denver, Colo.

Judaism Your Way targets unaffiliated Jews, but it's clear that Field's passion is engaging the intermarried. He officiates at interfaith weddings without making any demands that the non-Jewish partner convert. It's not a radical stance, but it is in opposition to the position of the local rabbinical association. Judaism Your Way's services include wedding ceremonies between Jews and non-Jews, baby namings, Bar and Bat Mitzvahs or “alternative coming of age celebrations,” Shabbat services, regular holiday observances, and High Holiday services.

Judaism Your Way functions as an entryway toward Jewish practice, learning and community — if that’s what participants desire.

“One of the things we like to say is that wherever you are along your Jewish journey, we’ll meet you there and help you figure out the next step,” Rabbi Field says.

It’s an accommodating philosophy that sounds eerily similar to the approach used by Chabad.

But Rabbi Field stresses that unlike Chabad or other Jewish outreach groups, Judaism Your Way does not have a Jewish agenda that pulls participants toward more traditional forms of Judaism.

“We have a mutually referring relationship with other synagogues and organizations,” he says. “Congregations refer people to us if the programming members want is unavailable. Similarly, if someone in our group is looking for a deeper sense of community, I refer them to different synagogues, rabbis and Jewish organizations. I’m happy to do that.

“But we’re also aware that there’s a lot more that needs to be done Jewishly to engage all the folks out there. Is there another way of teaching Judaism, studying Torah, praying, and celebrating the holidays and Shabbat that can engage those people whose needs are not being met in existing models?”

I like Rabbi Field's approach a lot. He knows that synagogues aren't reaching some Jews but also recognizes that they offer a sense of community that no alternative community or outreach organization can provide on its own. Contrary to the opinions of some critics, synagogues are not hopeless, but they just need a little help from bridge organizations, like Judaism Your Way and InterfaithFamily.com.

On a random note: in the article, Rabbi Field talks about why he doesn't push the non-Jewish partner to convert. His opinion is that it's a major personal decision and no one should be pressured into it. His explanation echoed a rerun episode of "Seventh Heaven" I happened to catch while I was at the gym last night (which is really my snobby way of pointing out that I don't watch the show regularly).

In this episode, the son of Eric Camden (Stephen Collins), a Christian pastor and the star of the show, is set to marry a Jewish woman who is the daughter of a rabbi played by Richard Lewis. Apparently, the son has been attending synagogue with his Jewish fiance for several months and has been taking a conversion class. In an attempt to sabotage the wedding, Lewis' rabbi suggests that the boy convert immediately prior to the wedding--knowing full well that he'll be scared and Pastor Camden will be pissed. When his son tells him that he plans to convert, Camden gets so upset that he cancels the wedding, arguing that conversion should be a matter of "personal conviction" not parental pressure. The episode is actually a pretty interesting dissection of the whole issue of conversion before intermarriage. It points out one of the pitfalls of pushing conversion. While for Jews, being Jewish often has much more to do with cultural identity than religious belief, for people raised in Christian households, religion is solely a matter of belief. Asking someone to convert who doesn't truly believe--or fully understand--the faith they're adopting is hypocritical at best. Conversion is a powerful, life-changing choice and should never be undertaken lightly, or with a conflicted heart.

Patrilineal Jew Seeks Conversion

While IFF ascribes to the Reform notion that behavior, not being born of a Jewish mother, is the most important signifier of Jewish identity, we understand that large sections of the Jewish community don't agree. Sue Fishkoff of JTA wrote two stories last week about patrilineal Jews--that is, Jewish-identifying people with a Jewish father and non-Jewish mother--who seek to "convert" under Conservative auspices so that nobody questions their Jewishness.

Judging from the article, many Conservative rabbis are quite sympathetic to these people and refer to their ritual immersion in a mikvah not as a "conversion," but as an "affirmation" or "completion."

Rabbi Joel Meyers, executive vice president of the Rabbinical Assembly, the rabbinic arm of the Conservative movement, says they are most often people who "grew up very involved with Judaism and the Jewish people, who think of themselves as Jewish."

As a result, he says, "we try very hard, with great sensitivity and compassion, to work with them."

Each conversion candidate meets with a sponsoring rabbi, Meyers explains, who ascertains the candidate's Jewish knowledge, observance level and commitment to the Jewish people. Those with strong enough Jewish backgrounds may not have to study much, if at all. For them, the conversion "is more of a technicality," one Conservative rabbi explained.

At the same time, some of these patrilineal Jews resent the fact that they have to get a "stamp of approval" for years of Jewish behavior and identification. Fishkoff points to the example of a 31-year-old woman who spent a year in Israel on a student program and kept getting asked whether she planned to convert:

"It was a weight I had to carry during the entire program," Goldstein says. "I felt the burden of having to prove myself more than people 'born Jewish,' " she says.

Goldstein converted while she was pregnant -- not because she wanted to, but to spare her child what she went through.

"I didn't want my daughter to have to face that duality," she says. "I converted, but resented that I had to do it."

One clever approach some Conservative rabbis have taken is to require all their b'nai mitzvah students to immerse in a mikvah. That way, the children of non-Jewish mothers can convert without being singled out.

Of course when you get down to it, there is little historical or halachic justification for recognizing only the children of Jewish mothers as Jewish, but that's neither here nor there. Conservative rabbis who deal with the issue sensitively should be commended for their work.

Steven Cohen Talks

The coverage of Steven Cohen's A Tale of Two Jewries continues, with an audio interview with Cohen by JTA editor Lisa Hostein and an op-ed on outreach and intermarriage from Gary Tobin, president of the Institute for Jewish and Community Research.

Responding to a question about what the most "frightening impact" of intermarriage is, Cohen says, "The most frightening impact is that we haven't yet figured out a way to keep the children... and grandchildren of intermarriage Jewish." He says the communal response to the problem should have two prongs: persuading Jews to marry Jews, and persuading intermarried couples to raise their children exclusively Jewish. He says he has a mixed opinion on outreach. Some outreach, he says, is great because it brings intermarried couples closer to Judaism, but some he says, "advocates a type of lifestyle that blends Judaism and Christianity." But he also says, "It's hard to attribute anything, for well or for good, to outreach." He says there is no evidence that outreach has helped bring intermarried couples closer to Judaism.

Finally, when asked what's new about his recommendations, he says he's advocating for three new ideas: one, getting Jews who are already receiving Jewish education to receive more (which he characterizes as different than getting unaffiliated Jews who receive no Jewish education to receive some); two, financially supporting young adults who are pioneering creative expressions of Judaism in culture, spirituality and social justice, specifically suggesting the creation of a World Jewish Peace Corps; and three, experimenting with community-funded rabbis whose sole job is to respond to the "pent-up demand" for people who want to convert.

It's important to be clear that there is much in what he says that is positive. None of his three specific recommendations for strengthening the Jewish community are in conflict with our goals. All would contribute positively to the inclusion of more intermarried families in Judaism.

With respect to conversion, Cohen, like Gary Tobin in his op-ed, wants the Jewish community to reconsider its traditional resistance to conversion and be much friendlier to anyone who expresses even some interest in converting. I don't disagree. In modern America, where religion is just one more lifestyle choice in a consumer marketplace, the most successful religions are those that market themselves, and make themselves readily available to new adherents (think Scientology and evangelical Christianity). Judaism needs to follow suit. I'm not sure there really is "pent-up demand" for conversion among intermarried couples, and I'm not opposed to having community-based rabbinic counselors available to work with prospective converts--although I think it would be more effective to have those counselors available to work with and be welcoming to interfaith couples whether or not the non-Jewish partner is interested in converting.

However, Cohen's characterization of outreach is way off-base. Contrary to his statement, no Jewish-oriented outreach group advocates the blending of religions. Moreover, his statement that there isn't "any evidence" that outreach is effective disregards every one of the handful of evaluations that have been done of outreach programs that target interfaith families, all of which show significantly increased Jewish behaviors and attitudes after program participation; and it disregards the fact that in Boston, a city with the best-funded, best-organized collection of outreach programs in the country, 60% of intermarried couples are raising their children Jewish. While the preliminiary findings of the 2005 Boston Jewish Community Survey did not make a direct connection between outreach programs and intermarried couples raising their children Jewish, there is potential for that data to be extracted from the study.

I do agree with Cohen's statement that outreach initiatives have been "miniscule" making it hard to attribute impact to them. But the worst thing about the interview is his statement that "we haven't figured out ways to get the intermarried to raise their children as Jews." Cohen takes a "heads I win, tails you lose" approach to outreach that targets interfaith families. He takes false pot-shots at it as advocating blending of religions; admits that outreach initiatives have been "miniscule," but says there is no indication that outreach works; and concludes that outreach programs that target interfaith families are not worth supporting. That approach amounts to a self-fulfilling prophecy that the intermarried will not be encouraged to raise their children as Jews.

Finally, Cohen's tone in A Tale of Two Jewries. One sure way to NOT encourage intermarried families to raise their children as Jews is to talk about intermarriage as the "single greatest threat to Jewish continuity" and to measure the success of Jewish education programs by the number of percentage points they reduce the likelihood of intermarriage. As we've said elsewhere, people won't join a group that they feel demeans them.

Groovin'

There's an article in the most recent issue of The (New York) Jewish Week on people who convert to Judaism who are not in a romantic relationship with a Jew.

Leana Moritt, diretor of Jewish outreach at the 92nd Street Y, points out that many non-Jews exploring Judaism do so because of the influence of a Jewish person or persons in their life. One such person is Amanda Melpolder, who decided to go through an Orthodox conversion after being inspired by the lifestyle of her Jewish colleagues. Another is Linette Padron, who dated a Jewish man for nine years but only pursued conversion after they broke up. At InterfaithFamily.com, we think of interfaith relationships solely in romantic terms, but sometimes non-romantic interfaith relationships can be just as influential on the people involved.

Also in this issue of The Jewish Week is a review of Getting Our Groove Back, a 10-point proposal for reinvigorating and strengthening the American Jewish community written by Scott Shay, self-described "concerned citizen of American Jewry." Normally a lay-written book like this doesn't get much press, but Shay is a philanthropist and board member of the UJA-Federation of New York, the largest federation in the country.

The book includes some valuable advice but is based on a flawed analysis of American Jewish demographics--he still clings to the long-discredited notion that there are only 5.2 million Jews in the U.S. But far worse is his approach to intermarriage, which is nearly as offensive as it is ridiculous. In the book, he says the Reform movement should scrap its 1982 decision on accepting patrilineal descent and rabbis who officiate at intermarriages should be ostracized from the community, to the point that they should be denied aliyah in any synagogue.

I'll let the absurdity of these proposals speak for themselves.

Two Friends

We had a pretty big week at InterfaithFamily.com last week. As we've already mentioned, it's our fifth anniversary as an independent organization, and the 200th issue of our Web Magazine, and we had great coverage in the New York Jewish Week and the Jewish Journal of Greater Los Angeles. We launched our new User Survey and have already had a big response (you can win an iPod if you take it!), and we revamped our Discussion Boards so that registration isn't required, and they're already busier. I was in Los Angeles Monday through Wednesday, speaking at a conference for RAVSAK (the association of Jewish community day schools) and having a series of meetings that are going to result in significant new funding for us. And we had a meeting of InterfaithFamily.com's Board of Directors on Thursday, with a presentation by Harvard sociologist Chris Winship, the co-chair of CJP's community survey committee, on the results of the 2005 Boston Jewish Community Survey.

But something happened Friday night that topped it all.

On Friday night I went to services at a local Reform synagogue. The husband of someone very involved with IFF went to the mikvah at Mayyhim Hayyim on Friday and completed his formal conversion to Judaism; his conversion was recognized at the service, and he spoke about his journey.

This wonderful, accomplished man met his wife in college. She made it clear that having a Jewish family was very important to her, and he was willing to go along. He didn't know what it would all mean at the start, and he was supportive, but on the periphery. Then they came to Boston, and his wife started getting involved in the Jewish community here. He said that he experienced an incredible welcome from CJP, the Boston federation, being invited to participate in programs and just warmly included by CJP's leaders. And he said he felt invited and welcomed by what he found on InterfaithFamily.com. He got more involved himself, studied, and -- sixteen years after his wedding -- he decided to "make it official."

To think that the work we do at InterfaithFamily.com had even a small part in this man's journey was deeply moving to me. It made the impact of a welcoming approach to interfaith couples very concrete and inspired me to move ahead to the next five years.

*****

In other news, there is a story in the Kansas City Jewish Chronicle about our friend Sherry Israel, who spoke at Beth Shalom, a local Conservative synagogue. Sherry is a highly regarded social scientest (and my teacher at the Hornstein Program at Brandeis). Among other quotes:

On day schools admitting the children of non-Jewish mothers: "Here's a family that wants to give a child a Jewish upbringing, and that includes a deep Jewish education. We should say no? Let's find a way to say yes."

On permitting non-Jewish family members to participate in life-cycle events, including taking part in the symbolic passing of the Toard during a Bar or Bat Mitzvah: "People who study these matters say the bimah isn't sacred space... There is no prohibition against non-Jews touching a Torah. Take the situation of the non-Jewish mother who has done all this work raising the child. Hasn't that mother been helping pass the tradition?"

We couldn't have said it better ourselves.

The Link Sink

Some links for y'all:

Trigger-Happy?

We recently received a video from the Robert I. Lappin Charitable Foundation, based in Boston's North Shore. We've talked about the Lappin Foundation before; they fund and manage some great programs for interfaith families, but their spokespeople never miss an opportunity to denigrate intermarriage. This new video is no different. Called "Journey of Faith," it's meant to be a "trigger for discussion" on intermarriage and conversion to Judaism. It's being distributed for free, and intended for "conversion classes, interfaith outreach programs, Introduction to Judaism courses, adult education courses, teen dialogue about dating, marriage and family, pre-marital counseling and training for clergy and Jewish communal workers."

A little more than 10 minutes long, "Journey of Faith" features Doug and Jodi Smith of Marblehead, Mass. Doug was born Catholic and Jodi was born Jewish, but after almost 10 years of marriage, Doug decided to convert to Judaism in 2005. His reason for converting is pretty simple: he wanted to feel a "full" member of his family's Conservative synagogue. He says he was especially struck at the 2005 High Holidays, when he saw his daughter on the bima and knew he couldn't join her.

The video works admirably as a "trigger" to discuss the challenges facing an intermarried couple or an interfaith couple contemplating intermarriage. Before Jodi and Doug were engaged, they agreed to raise the children Jewish. Jodi asked Doug to take a conversion course, which he said was very helpful in understanding what raising children Jewish means (it's not clear whether Jodi was trying to push Doug to convert then or not). He says conversion wasn't the "right thing for me at the time." They went into the business of parenting clear-eyed, anticipating the "bumps" ahead, and decided to raise their children in one religion before they got engaged. They compare that to several of their intermarried friends who have avoided the issue altogether. They are quite persuasive in arguing for the importance of deciding how one will raise the children early-on.

But as a "trigger" to discuss the value of conversion, the video is a failure. While the discussion questions that accompany the video speak of "the tensions that arise from inter-dating and intermarriage" and how being in an interfaith family "wasn't working for Douglas anymore," the Smiths themselves give little indication that there were any problems being an intermarried family raising Jewish children. The only two challenges they mention are Jodi's parents--who didn't originally approve of a non-Jewish mate--and what Doug calls the "biggest challenge," telling his parents about his plans to convert.

So let's get this straight: this video is about the "tensions" of intermarriage and the appeal of conversion, and the only challenges the couple faced were from their parents? If the "biggest challenge" for Doug was telling his parents about his conversion plans, isn't the video then arguing that conversion is a bigger problem than intermarriage? If anything, Doug is getting at one of the major reasons why many non-Jewish partners in intermarriages choose not to convert: they don't want to upset their parents.

While the Lappin Foundation explicitly endorses Jews marrying Jews and non-Jewish partners in intermarriages converting, the video makes living in an intermarriage seem like no big deal. Once the Smiths decided how to raise the children, they didn't suffer through any major tensions or crises. They don't discuss conflicts arising from differing cultural traditions, value systems or politics, or any of the other practical reasons some Jews offer as proof that intermarriages don't work. If anything, "Journey to Faith" proves that intermarriage can work--and conversion is not a necessary step to family peace and happiness.

Outreach, from Reform to Orthodox

There seems to be a real uptick in attention to outreach programs lately.

Last week's issue of the Jewish Journal of Greater Los Angeles had a story from Adam Wills about a community scan that the Jewish Outreach Institute did in the West San Fernando and Conejo Valleys. A community scan works like this: workers from the New York-based JOI anonymously call and email synagogues and community agencies in a particular area pretending they're unaffiliated and Jewishly unknowledgeable to determine how welcoming a particular community is. They also look at websites of local community institutions and interview local Jewish communal professionals. According to the Jewish Journal story, the West Valley/Conejo Valley area was the second most-welcoming community JOI has scanned, with a 77 percent favorable response rate.

Meanwhile, the Jewish Standard, one of the most Orthodox-leaning mainstream Jewish pubs in the country, recently had an article on the formation of a program for non-Jewish mothers raising Jewish children at Temple Emeth in Teaneck, New Jersey. The program is called Mother's Circle, and it's one of numerous new Mother's Circle programs popping up around the country.

The chair of the outreach committee at Temple Emeth, David Zatz, grew up in an Orthodox synagogue but nonetheless married a Presbyterian woman 15 years ago.

"Rejection has not stemmed intermarriage," noted Zatz, expressing support for the Reform movement's commitment to outreach to the intermarried as a way to draw in such families "so that we don't lose as many as we used to [by rejecting them]."

Speaking of the Orthodox, Eternal Jewish Family is sponsoring a conference in Boston Oct. 29-31 on "adopting standards for universally accepted conversion in intermarriage." The conference will include discussions by numerous noted rabbis, including, according to the ads, the Chief Rabbi of Tel Aviv and the Head of the Yeshiva at Yeshiva University.

I don't expect the Orthodox will ever come around to IFF's way of thinking on intermarriage, but it's encouraging that the Orthodox are creaking open the door just a little bit to the intermarried.

In the past Orthodox rabbis wouldn't convert non-Jewish spouses married to Jews because they didn't consider accomodating one's partner as a serious enough reason to convert to Judaism. But in the last year or so, Eternal Jewish Family has been holding events in the Orthodox community that are aimed at finding some small opening for intermarried families. To get into that opening, the non-Jewish spouse has to be willing to undergo a rigorous Orthodox conversion and show a commitment to living a religious Orthodox lifestyle, but it's better than nothing.

The Link Sink

A little catch-up on some relevant stories from the last two weeks or so:

Conversion again

As the Jewish New Year starts, the issue of promoting conversion is prominent once again. As we noted in last Friday's post, Rachel Zoll, an excellent AP religion writer, wrote a problematic article about Jews encouraging conversion.

I've spent a lot of time over the last two days writing letters to the editor of every newspaper that I think published Rachel's article. It's an eclectic list, ranging from major papers in major media markets like the Washington Times, the Miami Herald, the New York Post, and the Chicago Sun-Times, to much smaller cities, like Jackson Hole WY, Lincoln NE, Daytona Beach, El Paso, Portsmouth NH, and many in between.

Why bother? Because I'm very concerned about the reactions interfaith couples will have to the story.

Late last year, when the secular press publicized new efforts by the Reform and Conservative movements to encourage conversion, we heard about several couples that were very upset to think they would be pressured to convert. In one instance, the non-Jewish spouse was approached at work by her non-Jewish boss, who said to her, "I hear the the synagogues want people like you to convert." The instances we heard about involved couples that had thoughtfully and carefully worked out that they would raise their future children as Jews. Anticipating pressure to convert was a setback to their plans. What are they going to think when they see another article -- right before Rosh Hashanah, to boot -- with a title like "Jews embrace conversion"?

So my letters to the editor are part of InterfaithFamily.com's advocacy efforts to move the Jewish community to be more welcoming to interfaith families. I know that letters to the editor aren't nearly as effective as the original articles, but they are the least we can do to try to get a message to those interfaith couples we're concerned about that there are significant parts of the Jewish community that are much more interested in welcoming them as they are, and much less interested in pushing conversion.

I don't know yet whether the letters have been published, except this one, which appeared in the Washington Times:

Rachel Zoll’s article (“Jews encourage conversion,” September 23) overstates Jewish leaders’ advocacy for conversion. At the same time that Rabbi Eric Yoffie, head of the Reform movement, said that Reform synagogues should not shy away for inviting non-Jewish spouses to convert, he launched an initiative to express gratitude for non-Jewish parents who raise their children as Jews, calling them “heroes of Jewish life.”

Encouraging more interfaith couples to raise their children as Jews is critically important to ensuring Jewish continuity. Rabbi Yoffie’s balanced approach recognizes that that that will happen far more often if the non-Jewish partner is genuinely welcomed and accepted, than if conversion is promoted too aggressively.

Zoll cites a “major” new study by the American Jewish Committee finding that “advocating for conversion works.” But that study, which included interviews of only 37 converts, cited research that focused on young interfaith couples – the most important demographic – and found that they "would be 'turned off to Judaism' if they were approached about conversion by clergy or even family friends."

Conversion to Judaism is a wonderful personal choice. But the Jewish community will shoot itself in the foot if it takes anything other than an unpressured approach toward conversion.

I need to say one other thing about conversion. A few months ago I was at a confernence and ran into an excellent reporter for the New York Jewish Week. She greeted me with, "Why are you so against conversion?" She was referring to our most recent essay on the subject, Enough is Enough. I asked her, "didn't you see in that article where we said that conversion was a wonderful personal choice?" She said "yes, but ... why are you so against conversion?"

The issue of how the Jewish community should approach conversion of non-Jewish spouses and partners is a very nuanced one. Unfortunately it is very hard to convey a nuanced message in sound bites. We have always, consistently said, and say again: we are not against conversion. Conversion is a wonderful personal choice. We are delighted is any of the resources provided by InterfaithFamily.com help anyone along the path to conversion. But our number 1 goal is to maximize the number of children who are raised as Jews in interfaith families. We are convinced that that will happen more if interfaith couples and families are welcomed as they are, than if conversion is promoted too aggressively.

Interfaith Couples During the High Holidays and More

A lot of relevant articles today:

Our Letter to the Washington Jewish Week

We just sent this letter to the Washington Jewish Week in response to a review of Jim Keen's new book Inside Intermarriage. We hope it will be printed in the next week or two.

Dear Editor,

While Arts Editor Aaron Leibel’s choice to review Jim Keen’s book Inside Intermarriage (“A different view on intermarriage,” Aug. 10) was commendable, his tone was not. In this important new book, Keen details his journey as a Protestant man married to a Jewish woman and their decision to raise their children as Jews. Leibel can barely disguise how ridiculous he finds that premise.

Keen depicts in great detail the Jewish choices he and his wife have made when raising their daughters, from their brit bat to their enrollment in Hebrew school to their celebration of Shabbat. Leibel acknowledges that Keen “insists on taking an active part in teaching [his daughters] about their religion and to be proud of their faith.” Yet Leibel still questions whether they will grow up to be Jewish adults. He suggests that the only way to guarantee Keen’s daughters’ Jewishness is for their synagogue to “make it plain that for him to continue as a member, he must convert.” We have a better question: who does Leibel think he’s kidding?

Leibel’s suggestion is as misguided as it is presumptuous. As Leibel says in his review, Keen’s Christian faith plays an important role in his life. Keen has considered conversion, but he can’t abandon his strongly held religious beliefs. If he were to convert, it would be a lie to himself and his family. Moreover, if his synagogue were to demand that he convert, they would risk alienating Keen’s family from the Jewish community, and risk erasing all the hard Jewish work that Keen and his family have done. Leibel’s approach would create fewer Jewish families, not more.

Admittedly, as the original publishers of many of the essays in Keen’s book, we’re a bit biased. But we’re no more biased than Leibel, who uses an apparently innocuous book review as an opportunity to express his contempt for intermarriage.

-Edmund Case, President and Publisher of InterfaithFamily.com
-Micah Sachs, Online Managing Editor of InterfaithFamily.com